Your Little Emperor

tic tac toe 1777936 640Parents and teachers of four-year-old children:  do not despair! Your child's attempts to rule the roost are normal! predictable! and part of learning to be a healthy adult!

Four-year-old children, whether boys or girls, all become Little Emperors -- rulers of their known universes. They are in a stage of learning about rules, laws, fairness, and justice. You will recognize this stage when it arrives, by the more regular occurrence of children's statements in the form of rules or requirements. You, dear adult, "must" do many things now--cut the crusts from bread, position the furniture just right, keep all portions equal in size, fold the clothes just so, tell girls they can't play doctor but only nurse....

There are many, many rules a Little Emperor may wish to impose. There will also be many times when your offer of a couple of choices for something is countered with a third, child-originated option. You offer A and B options for lunch but a four-year-old child asks, "How about C?"

Why has your child suddenly become so directive, so "in charge?" And how do you help your child not become a bully with all these rules and standards for everyone else? Is it okay for him to get what he wants? Should she get to make rules for you?

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That One

angryIt's an early Monday morning, all quiet except for you and one or two other early birds. Then, he's there, in your doorway. That one team member. Again. Closing the door. Again. Angry about another team member's slight. Again.

As the supervisor, what is there to do with this kind of direct report, who is always creating interpersonal relationship drama with co-workers, always "playing office politics," yet otherwise so highly skilled on the job that you're loathe to cut him loose. Have you supervised this person--man or woman, young or old?

"Anybody can become angry--that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way--that is not within everybody's power and is not easy." ~~Aristotle

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Trust Under the Kaleidoscope

521056 relaxing newbornI'll tell you a secret about your most important relationship, such as with your spouse/partner, close sibling, or dear friend. You choose who; the secret is the same. How much and how well you trust that person is governed mostly by the experiences of your first year of life. Yes. The process that leads to ownership of a healthy ability to trust others begins at birth. At first breath, a normal, maturational process of child development opens an internal pitshaft down to the raw ore of Trust, your birthright. Each of us comes programmed with that essence, that readiness for Trust. Then, the less-predictable part of human development takes over.

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Dr. L. Carol Scott.

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